It's no secret: Mother’s Day can be a painful reminder for those navigating infertility, loss, or nontraditional paths to parenthood. This guide offers support, validation, and resources to help you feel a little less alone on a day that can feel anything but simple.
In this article:
- The Complex Emotions of Mother’s Day
- The Quiet Grief of Unseen Loss
- 11 Ways to Cope on Mother’s Day
- Opt Out When You Need To
- Create a Safe Space
- Find Your People
- Mark the Day Your Own Way
- Focus on Your Body’s Needs
- Honor Any Grief You're Carrying
- Celebrate Your Resilience
- Use Creativity As a Release
- Ground Yourself in the Present
- Give Yourself Something to Look Forward To
- Practice Self-Compassion
- Avoid Comparison
- Celebrate Your Resilience
- Gentle Affirmations for Mother's Day
It's a day that is often portrayed as a joyful, universal celebration. But for those facing infertility or navigating a family-building journey, Mother's Day can be a stark and painful reminder of what’s missing.
While others are honored with breakfast in bed and handmade cards, you may be grieving silently, yearning for a child, or exhausted by the demands of fertility treatment.
If this is you, take a deep breath and know this: You are not alone. And you are allowed to feel however you need to feel today.
Infertility is often an invisible struggle.
Unlike other types of grief, there's no funeral, no closure, and often no recognition of your loss by others. Mother’s Day can deepen that wound, especially if you feel like you're stuck in an in-between space—not yet a parent, but also no longer carefree or untouched by this journey.
This day can stir up a range of emotions: longing, anger, guilt, hopelessness, jealousy, isolation.
All of these feelings are valid. You are allowed to grieve the milestones you haven’t yet reached. You are allowed to be angry at your body, sad about the cards you’ve been dealt, or simply exhausted.
The truth is, there is no "right" way to navigate this day. What matters most is doing what feels best for you. If you're struggling to pinpoint what you need or how to approach Mother's Day weekend, here are some gentle ways to care for yourself:
You are not obligated to attend Mother’s Day brunches or fake a smile as you scroll through social media tributes. Give yourself full permission to skip the celebrations, mute your social feeds, decline invitations, and set boundaries with loved ones.
Protecting your emotional well-being is a form of self-respect, not selfishness.
You might even consider crafting a simple auto-response text:
"Thinking of you and hope you have a special day. I’m taking a little time offline this weekend. Thank you for understanding."
Whether it’s a cozy morning in bed watching a favorite movie, a walk in nature, a day spent offline, or focusing on your hobbies, design the day with care and intention. Curate a playlist that soothes you, order your favorite takeout, buy yourself flowers, or journal what you're feeling.
Other comforting ideas:
Talking to others who understand—whether in person or online—can provide much-needed comfort. Sometimes just being seen is healing. One of the easiest ways to connect with others in the fertility and family-building space is through virtual support groups and curated communities.
At Illume Fertility, we host a range of virtual events featuring our physicians, nutritionists, acupuncturists, and mental health professionals designed to support your journey. You can view all upcoming offerings on our Events Calendar.
We also offer free, fertility-focused yoga classes taught by Kerry Hinds, founder of Fertile Body Yoga, designed to support emotional and physical well-being during family-building.
Other trusted organizations that offer free support groups include:
You might also find comfort in following Instagram accounts or joining Facebook groups that center the infertility and TTC experience, where daily validation and encouragement can be found.
Mother’s Day can be whatever you want it to be—or nothing at all. You may want to light a candle, bake a favorite treat, write a letter to your future child, make art, start a new ritual, or plant something meaningful in your garden.
A few more ideas:
Remember: This isn’t about “making the most” of a hard day. It’s about reclaiming it—doing whatever brings you the most peace and comfort.
When emotions run high, it’s easy to ignore your body—or feel disconnected from it entirely. But your body is carrying so much through this process. Treat it gently today.
Ways to support your body:
Focus on rest, kindness, and listening to the messages your body is sending you.
Mother’s Day can unearth so many layers of loss—not just the absence of a child, but the loss of time, expectations, identity, or relationships. That grief deserves your attention, even if others don’t see it.
Consider giving your grief a place to land:
Grief doesn’t need to be fixed. It doesn't need to be buried or forgotten. It just needs to be felt, honored, and acknowledged as part of your story.
When it’s hard to find the words—or when there’s just too much to say—creativity can help you express emotions that feel too heavy to hold. You don’t have to be an experienced artist (or even make something that "looks good." You just need an outlet.
Here are a few things to try:
Tip: Creative expression can offer both comfort and clarity. It’s a healthy, beneficial way to process and release whatever you’ve been holding in.
When it feels like your mind is spiraling over past experiences or getting anxious about an unknown future, grounding techniques can help bring you back to now.
Ways to stay present:
Note: Even 30 seconds of mindful stillness can disrupt spiraling thoughts and reconnect you to your body and breath.
Having something on the calendar (no matter how small) can shift the energy of a hard day. It reminds you that life keeps going, and that there’s still joy to be found.
Consider planning:
This doesn’t have to be a distraction from the (very real) feelings that may arise. It’s simply a reminder that you deserve good things—and that they’re still coming.
If you feel numb, angry, sad, guilty, or nothing at all—you are not doing this day wrong. You’re simply a human moving through something incredibly hard.
You might try:
Self-compassion isn't about staying positive or ignoring the very real, hard things you're going through. It’s about softening the edges of suffering with kindness.
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For anyone navigating this day with a heavy heart:
Mother’s Day social media posts can feel like a thousand tiny paper cuts when you’re still waiting to hold your baby. And while it's natural to compare your journey to others’, it rarely brings peace.
If you find yourself spiraling:
Your path is not delayed. It’s just different—and no less meaningful.
You may not feel strong today - but you are. Every appointment, decision, shot, test, and moment of continued hope is proof of your perseverance. You are doing something extraordinary right now - give yourself some credit!
Ways to honor that strength:
Remember: You don’t have to wait until you’re holding a baby to be worthy of recognition. You already are.
If holidays like Mother's Day feel heavy and difficult right now, you don’t have to pretend otherwise. If you’re grieving, we honor that grief with you. If you’re hoping, we hold that hope with you.
And if you feel like the world is moving on without you, please know that you are still seen, still valuable, and still whole—no matter where you are in your journey.
This day does not define your motherhood. Because motherhood is about more than biology and genetics. It’s love. It’s hope. It’s resilience. It’s the quiet ways you show up for a dream you haven’t yet held in your arms.