When journalist Amy Klein got married and started trying to get pregnant, it was 2011. She was 41, and she was met with a distinct lack of fertility support. While patients struggling with fertility today have the benefit of online communities on Facebook and Instagram, the best that Amy could find were “mommy boards” - chat forums where women would talk about fertility treatment secretly, using initials rather than names.
As a writer, she had always talked about her personal experiences, and so she began a column about her fertility journey for the New York Times. At the time, she and her editor discussed writing about fertility treatment and TTC for “3 to four months," and then transforming the series into a pregnancy column. What she did not anticipate were the 3 more years, 4 miscarriages, 10 doctors, and 9 rounds of IVF in three countries that it took to eventually have her daughter in 2015.
While going through treatment, Amy had always thought to write a memoir about her experiences, but by the time she returned to the idea, the landscape had changed for the better. There was more peer support, both online and in real life, bolstered by stories of celebrities who had begun to open up about their own fertility struggles. And still, Amy kept receiving the same questions from those to whom she was connected in her online community.
- How do I find a doctor?
- How can I get my husband on board with fertility treatment?
- How do I talk to my best friend/mother-in-law/coworkers about my fertility journey?
In response, she wrote The Trying Game - Get through Fertility Treatment and Get Pregnant Without Losing Your Mind, with the hope that her experience could help guide readers starting or undergoing fertility treatment to understand the process, and ask the right questions about their own journey.
In this video, Amy Klein joins RMA of Connecticut's Patient Advocate Lisa Rosenthal to talk about trying, her experience, and the key points below. Scroll to watch the whole video, and grab a copy of The Trying Game anywhere you buy books!
Lisa and Amy chat about...
- The unifying theme of “trying” to build a family - the inspiration for her book’s title!
- How to find the best care for your specific diagnosis
- How to deal with the emotional frustrations of fertility treatment
- How to navigate the many surprises inherent in the fertility process
- Amy’s personal experience with recurrent miscarriage, and her hope to help others by sharing her story
- The importance of having a plan - and the importance of knowing when to adapt your plan when it comes to your treatment.
- Amy’s “reConceived” definition of infertility, and her work with Hadassah
- Navigating fertility treatment during the COVID-19 pandemic
Their conversation highlights the fact that “the trying game” is the same for everybody, no matter your circumstance or diagnosis. The theme of trying, of striving towards this one goal - a family - is a unifying factor that brings fertility patients, providers, and advocates together from all across the globe.
Going through fertility treatment or TTC? Want more support from peers and professionals? Check out our free, virtual fertility support groups!
Emma Lott is the former brand specialist for Gay Parents To Be and former Project & Events Manager for Illume Fertility. Her efforts focused on supporting and resourcing LGBTQ+ patients on family-building journeys, and project management and event production for our greater Illume community.