Their Village Didn't Just Show Up, It Helped Them Build a Family

When Darren and Marty set out to become dads, they were hoping for a miracle. What they got was a surrogacy journey full of generosity and love: a sister who offered to donate her eggs, a friend who stepped up to be their surrogate, and an ending no one expected.

In this article:

• Meet Darren & Marty
• Dreams of Fatherhood
• When Family Offers the Greatest Gift
• Making a Thoughtful, Informed Decision
• A Friend Steps Up to Help
• Why a Known Surrogate Changes Everything
• The Most Beautiful Coincidence
• Living in the Dream That Became Reality

Meet Darren & Marty

Darren grew up in Reading, Massachusetts, and Marty in Milford, Connecticut, but it took a coworker's backyard summer party in 2016 to bring them together. Both working as nurses at the time, they hit it off immediately, bonding over their shared sense of humor, love of life, and a deep belief in the importance of family.

They bought a house in Milford, adopted two dogs, and built a life together. After getting married in 2023, the next milestone on their minds was clear: they wanted to become dads.

Dreams of Fatherhood

When the couple thought about their future, one wish kept rising to the surface: they both wanted their child to carry a piece of them. "The biggest obstacle we faced was each of our strong desires to be genetically linked and represented in our future child," Marty shares.

For same-sex male couples who choose to build their family through surrogacy, one of the most personal decisions they need to make is whose sperm to use.

Some couples choose one partner as the genetic father. Others opt for split insemination, where a donor's eggs are divided and fertilized separately with each partner's sperm, creating embryos that give both dads a biological chance at a connection to their future children.

And then there's a third path, which is much less common, but perhaps the most personal of all: using a family member as the egg donor, so that both family trees are woven into the child even when only one partner's sperm is used.

That was exactly what Darren and Marty hoped for. The question was whether anyone in their lives would be willing to make it happen.

Finding the Right Fertility Clinic

After researching their options, Darren and Marty found their way to Illume Fertility through Gay Parents To Be, a resource and support community built specifically for LGBTQ+ individuals and couples navigating the path to parenthood. "We were very impressed with Illume; it felt like a match from our very first appointment," Marty recalls.

Their care was led by Dr. Mark Leondires, Illume's founder and a father through egg donation and surrogacy himself. For a couple with a journey as layered as theirs, having a physician who understood this path from personal experience was not a small thing.

Photos: Darren and Marty hold their son for the first time; Colton's newborn shoot.

When Family Offers the Greatest Gift

Most couples who need donor eggs work with anonymous or semi-known donors through egg banks or agency programs. About 12% of all IVF cycles in the United States involve eggs retrieved from a donor, and the vast majority of those donors are unknown to the intended parents.

Choosing to use a family member's eggs is a different path entirely, one that carries both extraordinary gifts and unique considerations.

After an initial consultation with Dr. Leondires, Marty's sister volunteered to be their egg donor. This offered the couple exactly what they had hoped for: a way for both dads to be genetically connected to their child, Darren through genetics and Marty through his sister's contribution.

Making a Thoughtful, Informed Decision

The family didn't make this big decision casually. "We attended therapy sessions with all involved to make sure we made a sound decision," Marty reflects.

Those sessions weren't just a box to check. They provided space for the family to work through the real, layered questions that come with known donation: what this relationship would mean over time, how to talk about it openly, and what conversations their children would one day be part of.

They also turned to Dr. Leondires' book, Building Your Family, which examines the landscape of donor conception in depth, including the specific emotional and practical considerations that come with using a family member's genetics versus working with an egg donor bank.

For Darren and Marty, it was the resource that helped them move forward with confidence. "Reading Dr. Leondires' book was the most valuable tool on our personal journey," Marty says. "It helped us make that important decision, and we are incredibly happy we chose the path we did."

Want to become a dad?

See how Illume Fertility helps intended fathers build their families through surrogacy, donor eggs, and personalized care every step of the way.

A Friend Steps Up to Help

If a family member volunteering to donate her eggs is rare, a trusted friend offering to carry your baby is even more so.

A family friend agreed to serve as Darren and Marty's gestational surrogate, a role that requires deep commitment. All surrogates must undergo rigorous medical and psychological screenings, follow a closely monitored protocol to prepare their uterus for embryo transfer, and carry the pregnancy through to delivery.

The couple worked with a Connecticut-based agency, Worldwide Surrogacy Specialists, to ensure their surrogacy arrangement was legally sound, emotionally supportive, and structured ethically for everyone involved.

Successfully navigating the complexity of surrogacy and donor conception requires the support of a whole team of experts: something Darren and Marty quickly learned. "Our liaisons at Illume Fertility and Worldwide Surrogacy always answered all of our questions, no matter how trivial they may have sounded," Marty says.

Why a Known Surrogate Changes Everything

Working with a known surrogate changes the experience in ways that are hard to quantify. There is an existing relationship, a foundation of trust, and a shared history that removes much of the uncertainty that comes with matching through an agency.

It can also significantly change the timeline. Finding and matching with an agency surrogate can take anywhere from several months to well over a year. For Darren and Marty, both of those puzzle pieces fell into place with two generous people who were already in their lives.

Their first appointment at Illume was April 1, 2024. From that first consultation to the delivery room, the entire journey took roughly 18 months, a timeline that might not have been possible without the gift of a known donor and a known surrogate.

The couple are forever grateful for their loved ones' generosity and care: "Our family and friends were our greatest sources of support throughout our journey," Marty says.

Photos: Darren, Marty, and Colton; Colton's first trip to the beach.

The Most Beautiful Coincidence

With their team in place, Darren and Marty moved forward with their IVF cycle, using Marty's sister's eggs fertilized with Darren's sperm to make their embryos. "We were very fortunate to have to only go through one cycle of IVF, which resulted in two healthy embryos," Marty says.

One embryo was transferred to their surrogate. About 10 days later, the dads-to-be got the call they'd been anxiously waiting for: the transfer was a success! They were elated.

And then came the detail that stopped everyone in their tracks. 

Their son Colton arrived on October 10, the exact same day Marty's sister was born: the woman whose generosity is woven into who he is. "It was truly divine timing," Marty says.

Living in the Dream That Became Reality

Darren and Marty are now fully settled into life with Colton and their two dogs, savoring every moment of watching him discover the world. "We love being a little family of three," Marty says. "Our families are just thrilled he's here."

A second embryo is waiting, and the two dads hope to pursue another transfer in the future. For now, they are holding onto every moment, deliberately. "We finally understand all the things we have heard our whole lives about kids growing up fast," Marty says.

"He has rejuvenated us and our desire to live life to the fullest," he adds. "Our days are spent making sure we are giving him the best life and experiences possible, which in turn brings us the most amazing joy."

Colton will grow up knowing that two special people in his life loved him before he was even born: one who gave him part of herself, and one who carried him into the world. For Darren and Marty, that is not just a beautiful origin story. It is the foundation their family is built on.

Some family-building journeys are defined by who you find along the way. Darren and Marty's was defined by the village that was already there. And for LGBTQ+ families just beginning to explore what their own path might look like, that is perhaps the most hopeful thing of all.